One bright day in the middle of
the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Two dead boys faced off. One dead boy stared from where he sat
at the end of the bed. His wild
mane of blond hair glowed bright
against the room’s darkness. The
other dead boy squirmed and gasped beneath thin and damp sheets. Throat burning. Stomach cramping. Dying, slowly.
That’s what it felt like,
anyway. He didn’t know how long
he’d lain here, damp blankets twisting around his legs, night sweats slicking
his skin. Time had lost meaning. He floated in a haze of fever and
nausea, sweats and chills and spasms.
Curled fetal, hands clawed against chest, his world had contracted into
a bright pinpoint of agony.
Shadows loomed over him. Murmured. Tried to get him to sip from a straw. Someone occasionally wiped his brow
with damp rags. The cool liquid
from the straw had made him gag and vomit, because even as it soothed his raw
throat, it cramped his guts.
They’d given him nothing for
awhile.
Maybe they’d given up.
Given up because he was dying and
there wasn’t anything left to do.
He didn’t want to blame them, but hated them a little, regardless.
He whimpered. Felt like he’d swallowed broken glass
that had dug into his throat and stayed there, tearing flesh with each new
swallow.
The dead boy sitting at the bed’s
edge spoke his name. He looked
away. Didn’t know how long
the dead boy had been sitting there or what he wanted, but knew the boy sitting
at the end of his bed was dead.
Had to be. The shadows that
loomed over him and whispered and smoothed back his damp hair...
(mom and dad and the doctor)
...never saw or spoke to the boy
sitting at the end of the bed. They must not be able to see him, he must not be
there...
(today I went upon the stair and
saw a man who wasn’t there)
...and if he wasn’t there that
could only mean he’d been dreaming the dead boy or the dead boy had come from
far a away place that lingered close now, that the boy had come...
(from the drift, a cold place
filled with hungry dead things)
He didn’t like looking at the dead
boy, whose wide eyes yawned like twin black holes, empty and bottomless, whose
hair shimmered so brightly white.
The dead boy spoke his name
again. He refused to look, glanced
upwards instead. Scanned the dark
ceiling where shadows and light danced, where something flowed in sinuous
patterns.
A circus oozed around the upper
edges of his bedroom walls. Lank
and grotesquely thin clowns with big red mouths and wide eyes bulging from
fish-belly white faces capered.
Rolled and jigged. Pranced
amongst screaming horses flayed alive by the lashing whips of men wearing tall
black hats as they pulled misshapen carriages hiding secrets that thrilled and
repulsed.
Squat, ape-faced dwarves lurched
alongside. Staring blindly nowhere
as their knuckles dragged along the ground. Cadaverous sword-eaters paced the screaming horses and
prancing clowns, plunging their scimitars down their throats, pulling them out
again. The swords gouged out their
backs. Misted red over the dwarves
and screaming horses. When pulled
free from the engorged throats, thick with red ichor, they winked back to a
gleaming silver. And were plunged
back down again and pulled free, over and over.
The dead boy at the end of the bed
spoke louder. Tone sharp and
harsh.
He didn’t listen. Only stared at the circus marching
around his room. Something inside
knew this couldn’t be real. He was
sick. Dying. His fever made the
circus wallpaper border march around the top of his bedroom. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t...
(something that had slipped free
from the drift; a cold and dead hungry thing)
He was sick with a fever. Was dreaming and dying. The circus wasn’t real.
It wasn’t.
Yet there it was. Dancing and spinning and rolling. Clowns with leering red mouths gobbling
up dwarves and chewing them into grisly pulps. Horrible men in tall black hats flaying their screaming
horses alive while they pulled behind them pulsing, oozing dead monstrosities
on lumpy wheels. Sword-eaters
whipping their swords from their throats in gushes of blood, hacking away at
the men in the tall black hats, the horses and dwarves and the rolling,
gobbling, leering clowns while something else shifted and flowed behind them,
something black and slick and viscous, something long and coiled, something...
(dead from the drift)
It twisted amongst the clowns and
screaming horses and men and dwarves and sword-eaters, connecting them,
dissolving them and consuming them...
Everything flickered.
Like a filmstrip jumping its
track.
The circus started over from the
beginning. With rolling clowns
leering with big red mouths. Over
and over it ran, with him dying and the dead boy talking but he still didn’t
listen or look at the dead boy as the wet black thing slithered just behind the
circus, pulsing and swelling and coming closer...
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