...well, not exactly the story no one
wants. I'm exaggerating a bit. But here's the thing: As the days
march past and the publishing industry changes and the rejections and
the "I like that idea...but can we try something different?"
roll in, and I get up every day at 3 AM to work my mojo, more and
more, only ONE THING keeps driving me, pushing me forward, making me
write SOMETHING every day, even if it's only three or four pages
through tired eyes and a pounding fatigue headache.
And that's the story itself.
Not the certainty of getting it
published.
Not a clever marketing or publishing
scheme.
Not all my vaunted career plans.
But the spark and fire burning in my
belly that THIS STORY MUST BE TOLD. That I MUST know this
character's life, inside and out... that I MUST crawl inside this
character's head, get to know them, BE them, for just a little while.
Very quickly, that's become all that
matters.
And I'm liking the idea more and more.
See, it's just too stressful, to anti-productive for me anymore to
eye the publishing landscape and make all these grand designs of
submitting this project here, this story there, getting an agent,
pitching this story, blah blah blah. Which doesn't mean I'm going to
STOP doing those things.
But a reordering of my priorities has
to happen. I've gotta be in love with the writing, the story, the
character (s). If not...
What's the point?
So. I've set my novel aside.
I did a lot of work on it, but I'm coming to realize that
my...vision, for lack of a better term...is still much bigger than my
ability to tell right now. It's so layered, so complex (and,
complicating matters, I didn't outline it first, so I have 500+ pages
to unravel and reshape), that I really need to let it simmer for now.
I've heard tell that it took nearly 13
years for Stephen King to write It (one of my absolute favorite
novels of all time, BTW), so maybe that novel will be my "It".
I've accepted that, gotten a lot more comfortable with the idea.
Also, my talks with the New York
Publishing House agent have reached an impasse. And, to clarify:
working with her has been a pleasure. She's been extremely positive,
helpful, and the whole experience has been a good one. She felt so
confident of my ability, she even forwarded me the emails of four
teen fantasy agents, gave me permission to name-drop her. So I'm
completely happy with everything that happened there.
But my...vision of the story I was
pitching her just wasn't matching what they could work with, and at
the same time, growing TOO STRONG to ignore. Especially the
character. He kept at me, all the time, beckoning me deeper inside
his brain. And for me, it's become about two things: the story and
the character.
"When I'm working on a project, I
definitely need to know my character well. I need to fall in love
with them – even if they're the most evil bastard on the planet –
in order to really dig in."
Bob Ford, author of the soon to be
released Samson & Denial (which you all better pre-order from Thunderstorm Books the minute you can), blogs this morning about developing his
title character, Samson Gallows. The above quote comes him, as does
below:
"But when he (Samson) truly
started to come to life inside my head, he took off in ways I never
expected. The muse was in full swing – relating memories of Samson
as a child. Things he planned to do in the future. Little secrets he
shared with his wife. A million different things that never made it
into the novella, but that didn't matter...because every single one
of them brought me closer to his voice, his personality, and – not
to get too purple here – but the very soul of his character."
And that, my friends, is what it's
about, what it MUST be about. That and the story, and the writing
itself.
SO. I'm about 100 handwritten pages
into the new story - and it's so important to know this character,
get inside his head and BE him...because, a lot like Hiram Grange,
this story is a little outside my usual curve (you think I could just settle down and write a normal story, right?). It's going to be
very different from what I've written, yet, not all that different,
at all.
And I usually don't like to talk much
about non-published works - because who really cares until it's out
there and available, right? - but here's a nice little hint of what
I'm working on, for all who care.
And that's all I've got for you, right now.
And it's so different (but yet, not) that right now, the most
important thing I can do is crawl inside this character's head and be
them. So I can understand hopes, dreams, nightmares...and make them
come to life, like all the best characters do.
Thanks Bob, for the reminder.
I know exactly what you mean when you feel like your chops don't live up to your vision. And you keep typing and keep typing, and someday, the jazz happens.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing you can do is to trust your instinct. It's a hard pill for me to swallow because I like to let others have their say and will work with them on matters.
ReplyDeleteYet it's the end of the day where things truly matter. Can I look face my reflection in the mirror and say I did right by myself? It's a question everyone asks themselves at one time or another.
Heather - I think it was Tony Hines who told me once how many authors have had that "vision" that was just too big to deal with until they got a few other things under their belts first, and that's really what I'm doing here. I'm gonna move on to some other things, try to accomplish some smaller, simpler stuff, then come back to my It later.
ReplyDeleteJeffery - Exactly, and that's essentially the agreement this editor and I came to. A story is always more powerful when it comes from your gut, rather than from a prescription. And I believe you can write almost anything that way, as long as you dig deep enough.
Great food for thought! The evil little Jester and I are always looking to grow as writers. Well, actually the little guy in the Jester box is more my muse, but he does strike the keys now and then, coming up with a twisted tale.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kevin, for the inspiring article!!
No problem, sir! Looking forward to meeting you at AnthoCon!
ReplyDelete